Friday Ramblings, Realities and -Isms- The one about Restlessness
Rambling is defined by Webster as:
passing from one topic to another
using or containing more words than necessary to express an idea
Reality is defined by Webster as:
the quality or state of being real
a real event, entity, or state of affairs
totality of real things and events
something that is neither derivative nor dependent but exists necessarily
-Isms are just my own colloquialisms .
This week was in this order:
Shit
Shit
Damn
Damn
Stress
Meetings
Shit
Shit
Meetings
Conference
Reading
Researching
Shit
Exhausted
The start up was chosen by the Africa Lab to attend their 1st Asian Africanist Camp a two day camp event. They fed me, yup pescatarian food! I learned a lot and I was impressed and moved by the interest in Africa! 95% of the room were polyglots. The conference was two hours away from my apartment, so on the bus I just crashed going and coming back. I won second place for our short oral presentation competition.
I had a meeting from 2am-3:somethinga.m by an individual that I can see will be part of this entrepreneur path. I was encouraged tremendously.
Exhausted ….
I feel defeated and sometimes I feel so behind the curve. There is this feeling of grind, grind, grind and nothing is happening. My dream is to fight for a narrative about Africa but I might just tell everyone I am going to Jupiter. It is the dream and drive to change this narrative that keeps me going, but I feel so defeated at times. It feels like this restless battle of fighting and fighting.
The drinking culture here is breathtaking and Ijust don't know If I can take anyone seriously that finds courage in fermented grains.
I wish so bad that this can happen, I know it can work. I can cry just been so close to my dream and nothing. I am trying so hard and it shows physically as I am a size 0/1. I was a 2/4 arriving the last week of April.
Agent Orange and My Dreams
Despite the outside perception, I really wish to be on this side on the planet. I get restless at times worried that I might wake up and just like that: No Kimchi Land, No Sushi Land and Goodbye Alaska. I am beyond unease that Agent Orange has yet to speak on Africa and some of the leaders not understanding he doesn't have the patience they are spoiled too.
What am I doing with the stress?
I am afraid nothing really!! I mean I try to meditate but I have to literally go and go. This is my dream and I don’t know how not to feel every feeling that I am feeling about my company. I don't half, ass, I never half ass.
I know my relevance to the universe is no more or less than the particles that make up my Planet Jupiter. However from the water, I am the Giraffe, I am the Elephant and the hand. My legacy and dynasty from the past to the present will not be forgotten. I will offer the silk road Cassava Diplomacy!