Friday Ramblings: The One about grades, conferences and anxiety

GRADES

Still waiting for my final grades that marks either my first year as a postgraduate student or me jumping from the Eiffel Tower

I KNOW THE STRESS IS BAD BECAUSE COFFEE IS NOT WORKING….

ANXIETY

Seriously, this semester was fresh pits of hell

That’s all, I am beyond anxious

Friday Ramblings: The one about the Yellow Ribbon

Well so much for plans huh?

I have endometriosis. Are my cycles always painful? Yes. It use to be so bad that I needed to go into the ER. I needed a morphine injection just so I could stop screaming, "I want to die” or was it “I am going to die”.

I am a captive inside my own body. I am unable to eat food for 48-72 hours. Smells and cold temperatures are kryptonite to my body. I am unable to lay down on my back because my back feels like hell. The room must be so hot that it feels like a car with no AC stuck on a major freeway.

My next utility bill will surely bring on a heart attack.

I recall telling my doctor something similar…

However, she was really big on that entire Hippocratic Oath…

I was not able to do any entries because my uterus felt like this……

GRADES AND MEXICAN NOVELLAS

I received my final grades. I hope to aim higher, but I made a damn good solid start.

Considering, my first semester seemed to be a Mexican telenovella minus this incredible giant singing for those moments of “Why is my life set up this way”?….

Ever heard of Joan Sebastian?? He is a legend…The horses always danced with him….This was also the name of a telenovella that had my complete undivided attention during my undergrad sophomore year.

ANY OF THE MANY WAYS

I was invited to a seminar with a Special Adviser on Unification and National Security for the President of the Republic of Korea, Moon Jae-in next week. I will do my best to post photos.

This semester will be interesting.

See you next Friday Ramblings

Friday Ramblings: Back to the Normal Schedule ......

So, it has been a long time……

As, mentioned earlier, behind this blog is someone that just recently completed their first semester as a post-grad student.

2018: I am glad it is over. I can’t list all the disappointments, heartbreaks, death and setbacks.

Happy New Year by the way.

Starting next week, we will be back to our normal schedule.

We will also touch on failing and fragile states of Africa. Soft Power and Country Branding is not possible for all 54 spaces.

All the complications with pushing the company, academia and my so called life.

See you on Mulday!

Friday Ramblings: Gratitude… Heartbreak

Long Time!!

Much later on Seoul -Houston to Paris….

My new spot for now is the 10th district. Vegan options and pleasant staff.

“Romantic heartbreak is a bi$%^ but betrayal from blood will have your head spinning”

I got sick after my arrival to paris and stayed in a hostel for 11 days. Nothing will turn you to an aggressive parisian like having no voice for 5 days while trying to look for an apartment in Paris. Did I mention my French is trash???

“Je ne comprends pas”

— My response to everything in Paris

I can curse in French now. Perhaps not at the level of English, Spanish and Pidgin. I have noticed some of the males that hang around the station, have no energy to even whistle around me. It is quite strange, I mean not a cough or a whistle.

It also allows males to feel empowered that catcalling is the norm.

“Man may not survive on bread alone

But damn it, man will survive and thrive on coffee alone”

— Coffee Addict

PhD - Cassava Diplomacy from Startup concept to Academia

It still hasn’t sinked in my coconut head that I am in a PhD program. I worked ass, blood and sweat to get here. I will explain this later on and much more but for now…

I am grateful for Heartbreak, Real Mates, Auntie Susan, Uncle Richard and again

Besides…

I am giraffe

I am
Elephant

I am Octopus

Until next Friday Ramblings

Friday Ramblings: The One About.. The Invisible Client, The Frozen Pipe, School Choices, and Uncle I need help?

                  The Invisible Client

What can I say about the Invisible Client? A presentation was given on behalf ESE & SEGYE and I was told no convincing was needed because                                                                              “We want to work with your company, you don’t need to convince us”.
I have received calls and text messages with assurances that the client wants to work with ESE & SEGYE but there were some abrupt changes in management. What can I say, when management is leadership in government? This meeting pending will dictate if I have to call my uncle below like a looser…

                                       

                                           The Frozen Pipe

It was very cold this week, like it was 3-5 degrees and my pipes were completely frozen. No water to wash or make tea because everything was frozen. I found myself having a moment with my phobias. I must have used every profane word and swore to God in every language currently stored in my brain.

My phobia for dirt and OMG…..Do not judge me, the first decade of my life was in missionary school that was topped with attending a German school. You are beaten to cleanliness and dirt or filth just makes me want to screammmmmmmmmmm.

CRYING

I found myself wanting to cry AND cry. My father told me a longtime ago, I cried more than any of his kids as a child. Oh those words  became so true...
I do not cry and stop like normal regular people. It is long and gross, and I have things in my nose and no one can understand me. Yet, I will be asked 1 million times, “Fatimaah, why are you crying?”. Or I have a mate of mine that says, “Fati are you crying?” … No mate, I am bloody laughing, just why can you not see the joy in my face.

CRYING

I am particular about my space because of survival, fear and some people just lack hygiene. This is not about my anal views to hygiene, some people even if washed in bleach, would still come back gross.  The explanation below is why I have trust issues.

I open the shower door and there is a tray with utensils and clean plates. She washes her dishes in the same place that she showers and does the number one and two. What in the complete (Fill in the blanks). I sprayed Rose Water on my body (Antibacterial properties) and then Coconut Oil (Antibacterial)…  

That was every version of nasty and ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I cried just a little, my friend from the states just started laughing on the phone hysterically. My father told me, at the very least, I never ate from her house.

I laughed hard and my friend asks, “But for real, you okay?” We are quiet because we both knew the backdrop to that question is heavy, but we start laughing again. My pipes were fixed later that day.

I am grateful for a friend that knows just why I have such phobias and for laughter. All parts of travel are not romantic, and SHIT happens.

So because of the weather and stress my inflamed joints made the week uncomfortable. My short leg, I would like to start saying my “Special leg”. My special leg that was deprived of length was not so much hurting, it was just throbbing. Oh and my left arm was hurting and in the morning, I woke up and scared me. It was like the cracking sounds sounded really bad, like damn I need to wake up slowly.
To be honest, I have not had ginger and turmeric for the last three weeks. This is also why I am in discomfort as well, but I could barely type. It was a bit frustrating and hard but I have to persevere.

School Choices

Europe
1. The Graduate Institute of International and Development Studies (Switzerland)
2. American Graduate School in Paris (France)
3. Central University (Hungary) My father has some strong reservations about this school for the same reason I am interested. Just google, you can figure out why. All that aside, AMAZING IR program

UK
1. Nottingham University
2. Goldsmiths-University of London
3. University of Aberdeen (Scotland)
4. Durham University
5. Queen University Belfast (Ireland

Uncle I need help...

My uncle is a man of little words, he is military and well this was the advice he gave me as a teenager. 

  "Masses of crowds are masses of asses"

See a man of little words and while I am sure I can ask him for help... My uncle's presence is like this scene ......

BUT I AM HERE IN MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT

I have 14 days to pick up and tell him I have the phobia below and I need help.

See you next Friday Rambling